Sad News

I found out some very sad news... My dead friend Schaun (Hopefully you guys remember reading some stuff about him before.) Well his dad died in December after a (I think) two year battle with brain cancer. Just last week his mother was in a car accident. The police officers at the scene insisted that she was drunk or on some sort of substance. They took her to the hospital to check and see if she was under the influence of anything (which there was no possibility she was she doesn't even drink) They ended up doing a cat scan and they found a brain tumor. She had surgery on Thursday night and they woke her up Saturday night. My sister and I are planning on going to see her today. Hopefully everyone can keep her in their prayers. Her name is Louise Fogarty. Also my sister's neice in-law. was playing with the sink while her mom was taking a shower. Her and her sister went into their mom's room and got the stool and took it to the sink. They both got in, but the water was only aimed at emma's side they turned on the water and it was scalding hot. It took all of the skin off of emma's legs. She is up at St. Vincents in their burn unit. She is three years old. So if everyone could pray for her too that would be great. I know that it is weird but after finding out about Mrs Fogarty and Emma I couldn't help but cry. People handle death and sadness in different ways, but I have discovered that I handle death and sickness different from any other person I know. I have tried to explain it, but for some reason no one really understands what I mean. I remember going to funerals as a small child and hypervenilating. (Hope I spelled that right) It is not that I don't know I will see them again, and it is not that I am afraid to die, but it is the concept of death in and of itself. That person. Who and what they believed, thought, felt, experienced, loved. Who they were, their personality, memories, and dreams... Gone... It just overwhelms me. I think maybe because we were never intended to experience death. and it is such a hard thing for me to handle. I remember that person and I realize that yes the body is gone and buried an empty shell, but the person and everything that they contributed to all of the lives around them all of the people that they loved and all of the people that loved them are left with an empty space, an absence that cannot be refilled because the person has left too. The separation is what kills me. Knowing that their soul is gone and that I will never see them again for the rest of my days on earth. Everyone I know tries to explain to me the same things. That they are in heaven. I will see them again. I know all of that. I can't explain why I feel the way that I do, but whenever someone around me dies I feel this stabbing like pain in my heart and it is almost impossible to go to funerals or viewings because of it. My dad laughs at me. Although I know that I got it from him. Whenever he talks about loved ones that have passed on from the church he cries. It is funny because you can tell who got the emotions in the family passed on. We'll watch a sad movie (Like Titanic) and you can look down the long line of my family and my dad, me, my sister and maybe a couple others will be sobbing... My mom and the majority of the other members will be eating popcorn and asking "when is this movie going to end?" I don't even know why I wrote all of that.

Things to be happy about:
Air conditioning
Health (both me and my family)
A day away from Wal-Mart
Swimming pools
Friends that don't care how you look in your bathing suit
and a husband that thinks and tells me that I am beautiful:)