The Circle of Life

My Great Grandmother died last week. She was 97 years old. Everyone around me has teased me about crying so much, but they don't seem to understand that it doesn't matter how old she was, to me death is death. She asked me last year to sing at her funeral. It was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I literally had to pretend that we were at a really boring church service. Then I sat behind all of her sons and daughters. They were all crying. Then I started. I had to go to the back until I got my singnal that I was supposed to come forward. Then I waited until we got home and then I cried. Chris picked on me. She was old I know. We all knew that it was going to happen, but that doesn't make any of it easier. I thought of who she was. Her memories, her loved ones, her morals, her experiences, everything... Gone... Life just seems to be so fragile. I read what Solomon wrote, how life is useless and to try to understand it is like chasing the wind. I also read how that it seems evil people find nothing but success and those who are good and honest seem to find sorrow and pain at every corner. I thought about Louise and how her life seems to have fallen apart in just one year and more literally in just one month and then I though about Hugh Hefner (if that is how you spell his name) and how his life is filled with nothing but pleasure, living with several girlfriends (each of them playmates) all being in their twenties (he is in his 80's) and having no type of conscience to think that anything that they do is in anyway wrong or gross... I thought about how this has happened since the beginning of time. How so many of the evil succeed and so many of the righteous suffer. I know that God is a just judge. That in the end we will all get exactly what we deserve. Not by anyone elses standards and not by what everyone saw on the outside, but on what God sees in our hearts. I know that time and everything else is in God's hands. I know that he knows the end of every story and though sometimes it is hard I trust him to see and be in control of what is best.