Please Pray

We got word yesterday that they have given Louise 4 weeks to live. I know that I am asking for a miracle, but I don't care. God is powerful and I know that he can heal her. So I quess that is what I am asking. Please everyone pray for her. I know that God is faithful and no matter what happens he is still faithful, but I just pray that it is in his plan for her to have a much longer life on this earth than what the doctors are saying she will have.

Our Depth Perception

Today Chris and I went to see the North Baltimore quarry. I had heard that it had been filling up and wanted to see it. From the time I was little I remember driving past it for what ever reason and trying to see over the side. I only remember one occasion that I actually looked into the entire thing. I remember for the most part it was completely dried out, but it looked like there were giant puddles throughout the entire thing. (Chris informed me today that those were not little puddles, but 20 ft deep holes of water.) My mom had been correct. She said that the factory next to it had stopped taking the water from it and had tapped into city water. The quarry was pretty much full. It looked nothing like what I remembered it and because I had only really seen it once I couldn't really remember what it had looked like before. The giant trees that had grown in the bottom were covered with water and only the tops were visible. They looked like little shrubs. I can't explain why I never really went there. I think it was a combination of several things. I always wanted to walk inside of it, but I had the voice of my mother in the back of my mind, reminding me that it was illegal. On top of that there had always been rumors of people practicing witch craft inside of it. I always believed it because even when we would drive by I would get this unshakable creepy feeling inside. Chris told me today that it was true. He remembered going down there several times and by this old shack in the bottom there was this giant pentagram made out of rocks. He said that there was a burnt out fire in the middle and an altar. Inside of the shack were home made brooms. It was so weird going there and seeing the entire thing full of water. It made me want to be a scuba diver just so I could dive underwater and check it all out again. I felt weird though. Even though everything was underwater I still had that creepy feeling. Not like the feeling like someone is watching you or something, but the feeling like something is evil. Just like this pressing pressure or something, I can't describe it. I wonder if anyone has pictures of it when it was empty. I wish that I would have take some. It is weird that you don't think of that kind of stuff until it is too late.

More News

I hope no one thinks that everytime I write on here it is more bad news, but I feel like that is what it is becoming. Only because I get ready to start writing and then I get the "phone-call." My mom and I talked this morning and in case anyone didn't know my dad is one of the managers at the Budd Company in North Baltimore. Apparently he got a phone call either late last night or in the wee hours of the morning. One of the engineers must have come home early from his vacation and went to check out the presses. He didn't turn the safety on for the press he was under and it came down on him and killed him. My mom said that she kept waking up and hearing my dad sighing (he only does that when he cries) When she told me I couldn't help it, I cried too. I didn't even know the man, but I quess I feel like that doesn't matter. Life is so precious, fragile, and fleeting. It is there one minute and literally in seconds it is gone. I am not sure exactly why it made me cry. I cried for his family, his wife and kids who lost someone so important to them, his friends, his co-workers, my dad, and for most of all him. That he won't see his grandchildren grow and get married and have kids of their own, that maybe he even missed out on seeing those things with his own children. People around the world pity themselves and they think that what they have is so bad, but when you look at someone who dies prematurely you realize how good you really have it and a part of you is relieved that it wasn't someone you loved and were close to. The older I get the more I appreciate my life and family because I can look around now and see the suffering that so many others have had to endure...


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On a lighter note. (Because I know that I have depressed you guys way too much lately) Other than the news from this morning things have been going really well. I can say that the past couple of weeks I have felt myself drawing nearer to God and just as he has promised if you draw close to him he will draw close to you. I love him so much and having the "knowing" and "inner-peace" that he gives has definately made my load lighter to carry.(I only use the quotation marks because I know that the words are inadequate to describe the meaning of what I really want to say.) Thank all of you guys for your prayers. Life can sometimes get bumpy, but it is an easier road to ride when you have family and friends like I do to pray you through it all. Please pray for my dad's co-workers' family and friends, and for my friend Wendy's family (she asked me to pray and I figured you guys wouldn't mind sending up a line or two also.)

My free weekend

Chris has planned for weeks now to go to Columbus and stay with his best friend Pat. I have been so excited about this weekend I have been telling everyone that I finally have my "weekend" off! Now that he is finally packing all his stuff though I feel kind of sad that I won't be seeing him for three days. I don't know how I am going to sleep with out him in the appartment to keep me company. I guess I feel so safe when he is around. I know that we have our days like everyone else, but I have found the longer that we are together the more we love each other. I have discovered that when we are doing stuff (it doesn't really matter what it may be) we are usually laughing. He knows all of the things that I love and usually suprises me by doing them with out me even having to ask him to. He has become me best friend. Everything that I ever wanted in someone. He has the qualities that I always longed for, but never thought I would get in the person that I married....
A few hours later:
So Chris finally got everything together and I went over to my parents house and my mom ordered me a swimsuit so that I can start swimming with my dad in the mornings. I am going to clean the house and then go hang out with my sister. She called me early this morning to tell me that she had finally miscarried. We knew last week that the baby had died, but just hadn't come out yet. She told me it made her really sad she could see its' little hand. Everyone was disappointed but Melissa and I have decided that this just means we get a suprise when we get to heaven. Please be praying for her and Louise... HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYBODY!!

The Circle of Life

My Great Grandmother died last week. She was 97 years old. Everyone around me has teased me about crying so much, but they don't seem to understand that it doesn't matter how old she was, to me death is death. She asked me last year to sing at her funeral. It was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I literally had to pretend that we were at a really boring church service. Then I sat behind all of her sons and daughters. They were all crying. Then I started. I had to go to the back until I got my singnal that I was supposed to come forward. Then I waited until we got home and then I cried. Chris picked on me. She was old I know. We all knew that it was going to happen, but that doesn't make any of it easier. I thought of who she was. Her memories, her loved ones, her morals, her experiences, everything... Gone... Life just seems to be so fragile. I read what Solomon wrote, how life is useless and to try to understand it is like chasing the wind. I also read how that it seems evil people find nothing but success and those who are good and honest seem to find sorrow and pain at every corner. I thought about Louise and how her life seems to have fallen apart in just one year and more literally in just one month and then I though about Hugh Hefner (if that is how you spell his name) and how his life is filled with nothing but pleasure, living with several girlfriends (each of them playmates) all being in their twenties (he is in his 80's) and having no type of conscience to think that anything that they do is in anyway wrong or gross... I thought about how this has happened since the beginning of time. How so many of the evil succeed and so many of the righteous suffer. I know that God is a just judge. That in the end we will all get exactly what we deserve. Not by anyone elses standards and not by what everyone saw on the outside, but on what God sees in our hearts. I know that time and everything else is in God's hands. I know that he knows the end of every story and though sometimes it is hard I trust him to see and be in control of what is best.

So much to live for

I have been asking every single Christian I know to pray for Louise. It is odd because it seems to start interesting conversations when you ask someone if they are a Christian or not. Thank you Jen, the more people who are praying the better. I know that I have always talked about people using there "feelings" and how we shouldn't let that direct our Christian faith because satan can use our "feelings" against us, but I can't seem to explain it, I just have this knowing that Louise is being attacked and that time is being stolen from her. I had more of a peace with Hal. It seemed to be his time to go home, but I just don't know with Louise. My sister wants to call the 700 club's hot line and have them put her on their prayer list. I was happy to hear confirmation from her that she had the same notion to start asking everyone to pray. I have heard from outside sources that they have taken her home, but I haven't confirmed that rumor so I am not positive yet. I will be sure to keep everyone posted. I have not heard any more news on Emma, but the doctors and nurses told everyone at the hospital that young children heal fast and that was another reason why they were so confident that she wouldn't need skin graphs. Write more later...