Some wedding pics

I finally got some of our wedding pics and figured out how to put them on my computer. We were so blessed to have such a beautiful day, filled with family and friends and lots of good memories....
Here are some of my favorite pictures...

Nothing interesting to write

Do you know...
I don't have much to say, just needed to write something. I have been sick so Chris told me to stay home. I need to start cleaning, but I feel really tired and don't have the motivation to do anything. I want to drive home and crawl in bed with my mom, I know that sounds retarded. I think Chris thinks I am crazy, I really miss living with my mom and dad. I started getting really close to my mom before I moved out and I miss her now more than ever. I used to sit on her lap and she would play with my hair (It's a nervous trait that we both have.) We're going to start walking together just so that I'll get to see her more. It is funny that you don't realize how much you love your parents until you know longer live with them and see them everyday.

I feel guilty for saying all of those things. I would feel even worse if he ever found any of this. I cannot help it sometimes how I feel though. I miss the way that things used to be. I wish more than anything that I could go back and enjoy my life, not worry so much about the future, but really enjoy the present. I miss watching movies, spending the night with my friends. leaving state for no apparent reason, just cause I needed to drive somewhere. Never answering to anyone. Never having to explain to anyone why I feel what I feel. Not answering my phone. Going to work when I feel like it. Hanging out with the people that I want to hang out with. I miss not having to always justify my actions with reason. I am sick of always having to do what someone else thinks is right. I miss being able to be my own person and only ever having myself and God to answer too.

He pisses me off

Chris and I just got into another fight. Sometimes I feel like I want to hit him. He can be such an asshole. Most of my life I have wanted to be married and to have someone, now that I am all I can think about is how much freedom that I had before. I feel like I have no choices. No options available to me. I hate feeling like I have no control over my life. I want to be able to drive my car and just go. I want to never come back. Then I feel quilty for being so selfish. I wish that I knew before what I know now.

Changing

Today is my last day working mornings. Chris and I have both been moved to closing shifts. I think more than anything I miss my friends in Findlay. It has been really hard for both of us to leave all of our friends to go to a new store. We both left for the money and now I am beginning to wonder if that was even worth it. I hate to think that I was being selfish or greedy when we took the offer, but it was kind of like we heard how much more money we would be earning every month and we just "jumped" at the opportunity. Now looking back we are both regretting such hasty actions. We miss our friends and we miss being with the management team that we know. I am sorry God. I haven't been asking you what I should do, I have been doing what I want to do instead...